Subject : <3

"baby i cant sleep

i tried calling you.. i'm thinking of coming over but am probably not safe to drive.

and i have to work late tomorrow.

dont hang up on me again, and i promise to call back next time... i'm upset."



Waking up to such a heartfelt and desperate message was, for some reason, surprisingly enjoyable. Not because Casey was upset, or because I relish in his misery. I loved it because I felt needed. See, Casey is generally a very independent man. It took months before he dared communicating how he felt to me. He is naturally very closed and secretive about emotion and feelings;

But in this message - this sweet, delicate message - Casey needed me. He was upset and longing to be with me.

And now, he is at Dominos - most likely needing an asprin and a pepsi.

I've decided to start a three day fast tomorrow. I am fasting for a job. I will desperately cry out to God and beg him to grant me a full time job at Liberty. I will thank Him for everything He has provided me and tell Him how much I would appreciate a staff position. I wanted to do a seven day fast but Casey said I should not start out so fast.

Maybe God wants to feel needed just as I did. Perhaps God is expecting a message of desperation. It is about time that I let Him know just how much I need Him.

And Lord, I do need You. And You are All I need.


On a more lighter note, yesterday was Gracie's birthday. Her most favorite day of the year =) I decorated our table at CiCi's and bought a cake to put on it. I think she had a great time - but her real birthday party is tomorrow. Two or three girls are coming over for a HSM party and a trip to get their nails painted. <3

I skipped my first class today, left the second class early, and skipped the third. I was feeling extremely lazy. Afterall, I've only missed one class this entire semester. It was nice. Casey and I got to go to the mall and shop for rings and PAGEANT dresses. (Another one of my fleeting fantasy's....MRS. VIRGINIA!) We ran into Shane at the food court. We listened intently as he rambled on about the signs of pregnancy and what it has been like. For some reason, it just cannot sit in that Anna is having a baby. I pray this won't happen that soon for us.

Gracie is bowling tonight. I'm sure I've already recorded about bowling last week, but if I haven't, it was precious. Casey taught her how to throw it and she thought it would be just like Wii. =) She had a blast. I was proud of Casey, too. In the beginning he was shy at sat at a back table. By the end of the night, he was cheering for the other kids and interacting. =) I won't forget it.

I've been extremely tired lately - and today I was even dizzy. It was as if I had vertigo. I want to say it is because I need more sleep - but I've been getting what I normally do. Perhaps stress?


I want to pray for:

Dr. Croteau (sick)
Ashley (contentment)
Grace (she'l have fun tomorrow)

We were published in the Orlando Sentinel. So funny. =) http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/lifestyle/orl-livgroom3032609mar26,0,2449159.story

We found out if we win the contest in April. We'll see!

We also met with Mark and Debbie again in their camper. I was so tired - and nervous. But we had cake and everything was great. We sort of decided that if we went to the camp, it wouldn't be until next fall. We'll see what ends up happening. I think at this point, Casey still wants to go more than I do.

Alright - I suppose I should do something useful and pick up the house for tomorrow =)

The Lord - is very Good.